All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

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Wentworth South never was very lucky or smart, but in the summer of 1992 he managed to fend off an invasion from interdimensional aliens (led by his girlfriend, who was an alien mole), prevent a Texas-sized asteroid from slamming into the Eastern seaboard (vengefully hurled into the Earth by said aliens after their defeat), eliminate a horde of infected humans demonstrating zombie-like behavior (spawned from debris from fragments of said asteroid), and neutralize a killer robot uprising (seriously, it was a really bad summer). Singlehandedly. While enrolled in summer school. In return for saving the planet and keeping quiet (mostly for keeping quiet), a grateful world awarded him a lifetime supply of Crystal Pepsi and a t-shirt. Like we said — Wentworth never was very lucky or smart.


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